This is possibly the edgiest thing i’ve ever posted on social media…but here we go…
i’m doing a really fucking good job with “my” life just now.
i wish it were more acceptable to acknowledge ourselves publicly, because this whole looking to other people to validate & approve of us is just bullshit. So here i am, publicly acknowledging myself & what a kick ass job i’m doing in life.
And people, shit is GOING DOWN!
When the challenges come in thick & fast as whack-a-moles, simultaneously the old thought habits & ways of being emerge trying to test resolve.
Old patterns enticing victim “poor me” mentality are but blips on the horizon…it’s so easy to see them for what they are, how they’ll bring no reward & seem as appealing as hitting myself with the whack-a-mole hammer.
As i wrote in an earlier post…i can only be punished if i agree to feel like a victim.
This public acknowledgement comes as a result, not because of any great accomplishment – new job, new relationship, health goal etc – but because of how i stand so firmly in love with myself & keep my centre like a ninja, when things are challenging.
This realisation of what a kick ass job i’m doing came just now as i drew the Thunderbolt/Tower card ~ a Buddha figure watching as people throw themselves from the burning building. It always brought a sense of impending doom whenever i drew it in the past…but this time i felt a sense of pride.
Yes…MANY elements of my life are crumbling around me. Yes…i’m watching it all fall away from a strong, centred place. That’s where the achievement comes in.
For so many fucking years i was so lost in drama…lost in past…future…stories. i was identified with the people (personality self) as they leaped from the flames.
Now it matters less & less, whether the rollercoaster is going up or down ~ i’ve been riding it for so many years now, i know it will continue to climb & dip & twist. When i get off the roller coaster that’s when i’ll be handing Spirit back my human-virtual-reality-suit, and i plan to get as much wear out of this thing as possible…while fully enjoying the ride.
For anyone reading this who’s wondering about the details…”what kind of shit is going on in Jennifer’s life?”. Why? Why do you wonder this? Can you hear me say – all is well? All is, as Tiger Singleton likes to say, incredibly well. No need to know the stories…please just celebrate witnessing the unfolding, staying in a place of trust, not taking the events of life personally, yet still fully engaged ~ acting consciously within the soap opera of your own life…cause that’s actually really fun.
Thank you for allowing me this space to give myself a public holler!