3 Hacks to Handle Suffering
Because of how happy i generally am, combined with my work of supporting others through their healing journey, it creates this weird idea that somehow i live a life of constant joy, devoid of tears, fears, anger or grumpiness.
So i decided that a photo of my tears should be enough to dispel this myth (plus balance the happy-smilie-selfie-culture).
Trigger Warning: New Age myth busting post ahoy!
See there’s this problem i found with much New Age thinking & healing…it’s that one day you’re going to stop suffering. Eventually, after you’ve worked through your unhappy childhood & manifested the partner/job/body of your dreams, that you’ll be happy 100% of the time. This leads to many of us actively on the path of transformation, feeling inadequate about still having truly difficult days full of tears, challenging thoughts & unpleasant emotions.
The sense of failure, ‘not-good-enoughness’ is palatable, especially compared to the bliss & celebration we know is possible. In such states i’d compare myself to others i believed had their shit together…or even worse…i’d compare myself to previous versions of myself & tell myself i was actually regressing.
The mind will do whatever it needs to keep you focused on problems. As long as we have problems, we need the mind to figure them out. The mind wants to fixate & wallow in them. Create an identity out of the issues arising (victim, hero, bank robber…it doesn’t care, mind is just trying to keep existing).
For now suffering seems to be built into our reality. Even Buddhists in all their wisdom & self-exploration say that suffering is part of life. So, what if we accept that suffering is just built into our 3D matrix, & learn to better dance with it?
What if there’s another way of relating to your suffering, problems & pains?
Here’s 3 hacks to handle life’s challenges
1. Don’t take it personally
For reals…don’t buy into the story the mind’s trying to spin as a result of the situation unfolding. Can you observe it with total neutrality, as though it was happening to someone else? And if it was happening to a loved one - how would you speak to & support them through this? Can you apply that same support & compassion to yourself? If you can, you’ll move through it with grace & speed.
2. React to situations as though you’re in a Dojo
A Dojo is a space to train martial arts. Perhaps a fellow novice will step into the dojo to test your ninja skills, or maybe it’s a master battling you at the next level. How well can you keep your centre & respond to their blows? In the Dojo, you know everyone is there to help you train, to help you improve your abilities.
What if the world is a gigantic dojo & everyone you encounter is a training buddy? From the guy driving like a maniac, a colleague cutting you down at work, a critical remark from a family member.
Remembering that everyone you encounter is an ally, supporting your growth, secretly willing for you to stay balanced, succeed & grow…even if on the surface they’re wearing a mask of a sneer & have a really big stick.
In Life’s Dojo your training is to keep your centre & love yourself.
3. Relate to Life as though it’s a virtual reality game.
This takes the idea of dojo to the next level (pun intended). What changes when you relate to life as a game rather than some serious challenge, or lesson, or burdensome evolution program? What if life’s a game & and our beliefs are what creates the playing field? And what if there’s no way to lose at this game? What if it’s rigged in your favour? What if all the players are supporting you to succeed? What if it’s just a game about reprogramming your beliefs into alignment with what you want to experience on Earth?
What if the suffering caused by perceived obstacles & problems are just monsters whose heads you jump on à la Mario Bros…and occasionally you get to eat a mushroom & get all big (rescuing the Princes is a whole other post).
Seriousness flushed right down the cosmic crapper! Stress & fear following right behind. And what if the floaters in the bog are just challenging games we amuse ourselves with as me move through the day.
Think of every movie you’ve ever watched, book you’ve read or game you’ve played…there are ALWAYS challenges. As humans we LOVE a good challenge! Would you really want to play a computer game where there’s no obstacles or problems to solve? Bo-ring! i believe that as our minds continue to evolve, we’ll eventually reach a time on this planet where suffering is obsolete & as a species we’ve grown out of our need to learn & grow in such a way. For now, it’s where we’re at…and i for one, am committed to learning to love myself through every damn obstacle (whether it’s a negative thought, painful emotion or full on life-upheaval).
So yes, i cry sad tears, feel not good enough, shake my fist at the universe…but i don’t lose myself into the emotion or negative thoughts. i don’t wallow. i keep my centre & love myself through whatever unfolds. And when i don’t…i catch myself as soon as possible, forgive myself & start loving myself once again. Over and over and over. It’s getting easier. The moments of suffering, versus the breaks between them, actually feel like a beautiful flow & dance. Please believe me when i say, if i can do it…so can you.
Hit me up if you want a session to learn how to handle your suffering like the ninja you truly are.
