How To Smash The Patriarchy

We often have our needs and wants shut down early in life, so we learn to minimise our needs and ignore what we want as adults.

As women, we also get clear instructions that our role is to take care of others and sacrifice our needs and wants. I was taught that being a good girl was to put everyone else first and sacrifice taking care of myself.

For years I prided myself on ‘not having any needs’. I spent decades travelling in Asia, thinking, 'I have food, water and a roof over my head, anything more is a bonus.' I believed I needed to prioritise other’s needs over my own, in order to be worthy of love.

This created bitterness, resentment and jealousy. I was toxic in my early romantic relationships because under the surface I was white-hot angry that my needs weren’t being met.

I didn’t even have a clue what my needs were. I’d never been taught how to listen to my body to catch the physical sensations indicating what I needed. I suppressed my emotions (ProTip: emotions are great indicators of needs and wants) to the point that I didn’t even know I was angry. Because, of course, good girls don't get angry.

It wasn’t until my 30s that I started to unravel this mess!

Even after a profound awakening to self-love, there were several years where I still put others first. Honestly it took about a decade to resolve this care-taker/rescuer pattern! The patriarchy had done goooood brainwashing me on this one.

Eventually I realised ignoring my needs wasn’t true self love.

So, women...my wish for us today - fuck the patriarchy and realise that you are worthy! Your needs are as important as everyone else’s.

Say it with me! Scream it from the rooftops…MY NEEDS ARE AS IMPORTANT AS EVERYONE ELSE'S!

Wanna know the plot-twist around this? Life actually gets easier for those around you when you know and express what you need and want.

Well, it will for healthy, loving people you have around you. Toxic people will run for the hills when you start prioritising your needs ahead of theirs!

If this resonates for you, leave me a few emojis or a comment down below. I have SO much to say on this topic, so I'm really interested to hear if you wanna hear more on the subject of needs & desires!

I also published a Tapping video on this topic here.