How To Survive Burn Out
Last December I burned out. I launched & ran my first online EFT Tapping program. I was writing pages & pages of a workbook each week, answering questions from the 20 participants, preparing for weekly workshops & running a daily Tapping challenge.
I also had a full client load, which means I was giving six life changing sessions each week.
I was doing a speaker training, talking about my dark night of the soul, ego death & subsequent spiritual awakening. It was bringing up all my own shit as I crafted the 10 minute TED style talk I’d give on stage.
Simultaneously, I was guiding a close friend through unprocessed core wounds & traumas, sometimes until 4am.
I was constantly exhausted & trying to push through the tiredness to ensure perfection in everything I did.
I don’t like being busy. Actually, whenever I hear myself saying “I’m busy” I take it as a red flag. Like the Zen proverb says “You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day – unless you're too busy; then you should sit for an hour.” My goal in life is to have spaciousness & plenty of free time.
But busy I was. And busy I had been for six weeks flat out.
It’s less than a week before the last day of intensity. I'll run my last workshop in the morning and give my TED style talk at night. I have an insane To Do List but decide to take Saturday off & go to the beach. I thought dancing with friends would give me the break that I needed. I forgive myself for that mistake. Sunday starts slap bang in a personal trigger after less than 2 hours sleep.
My friend drives me to a breakfast cafe. I lie sobbing with my head on their lap.
I have nothing left inside. I have no idea how I’m going to make it through the week. I’m going to disappoint my students, my clients, my friends. I’m going to disappoint myself. I don’t even have the energy to drive my scooter 40 minutes home, how can I possibly get through the mountain of work awaiting me?
I recognise I’m burnt out.
Step one in the process of recovery - acknowledge where you’re at.
I make it home & spend time alone, mostly sleeping for the rest of the day.
After that I give myself permission to fail. I make peace with the worst case scenario of disappointing my students, guiding half-assed sessions & losing clients, giving a scattered, low vibe talk.
I visualised all these things happening and feel the reassurance that I’ll still truly love myself even if they all end up happening.
Slowly I feel my energy return. Life force returning to my body & mind.
The next small step in Work Mountain starts to feel achievable.
This is the unspeakable power of self-love. Knowing whatever disastrous situation you’re in, the love & support you have for yourself is unwavering.
I survive the week! I give hugely transformational sessions & bat away clients’ traumas like a Jedi. I prepare an epic workshop on self-love, how to manifest using EFT Tapping & create positive affirmations which actually work. At night I get on stage and share the talk about transmuting my dark night of the soul into a spiritual awakening (I’m yet to post the professionally recorded vid of it but one day…).
And you know what? None of it is perfect. Each of the things could’ve been done better. But it doesn’t matter. Done is better than perfect.
I’m even proud of myself because at no point do I attack myself, beat myself up or judge myself harshly. I’m teaching the group how to have a loving inner voice & it’s in moments like this I see how unwavering & unconditional my self-love is.
Self-love also looks like learning from challenging situations so they needn’t be relived.
What advice would I give to myself on the cusp of that burnout?
Work at 80% of what you think is your capacity
Set boundaries of time limits with friends who are in need of processing
Prioritise rest & time alone
Have a 30 minute walk in nature each day
It doesn’t have to be perfect. Your standards are exceptionally high: lower them.
This list is specific to me. Others may need more time with friends, to actually work harder & shoot for perfectionism. That’s your list to create & I’d highly encourage you to write it!
How unshakable is your inner voice of self-love? Are you able to support yourself when things get tough, or do you jump on the band wagon with your demons & hurl abuse at yourself in an effort to push through to the finish line?
I guarantee you that having a loving inner voice is the ultimate life hack.
