The Rejection (Asking for What I Want: Part 2)

A few people got in touch after my last blog/post where I talk about the importance of owning our desires. They thought because I had a beautiful heart & soul connection with someone & had finally learned to express what I wanted, that things in the relationship were in the ‘happy-ever-after’ realm.

My fairy tale ain’t so linear.

Here’s how it actually went down…

I ask him if I can vulnerably express what I actually desire from our connection & acknowledge how challenging (excruciating) it is for me to do this.

Before I speak, I'm almost certain I'm going to be rejected, because I can *feel* where he's at. I believe it’s healthy to practice being rejected (especially in the path of owning my desires) and I know I’m able to love myself through this.

Sitting on the pavement cafe, rain pouring down, I take a few moments, breathing love into my neck, which feels like it’s being strangled. My throat physically choking back the words.

I look in his beautiful eyes & begin: “I want to explore s€xually together. For our hearts & souls to merge at the same time as our bodies. I want to go into transcendental states together, using our s€xual energy. I want you to f*k me all the way to God.”

He puts his hand on his heart & we take a deep breath together, feeling the power of the love between us.

He replies: “As AMAZING as all that sounds & as much as you really deserve ALL of it, it’s not where I’m at. I’m choosing not to share my sexual energy at this time.”

I nod & let the impact of hearing his rejection sink in. Feeling love for myself. I scan my emotional body: there’s disappointment, but it’s mild. I’m not taking his rejection personally.

Now that this is clear, we can move onto the next phase of our friendship.

There’s also a sense of accomplishment. I’ve overcome a huge block by telling him what I want. Because I accepted this mission, completed it with love & integrity, it doesn’t really matter whether the guy sitting in front of me is a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’.

The last few months, I've been deeply realising, everything we say or do with another

It’s all just a conversation we’re having with the Universe.

I was brave enough to voice my desire to the Universe & I trust that this desire will be heard & met by Life.

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