THE SECRET OF A GUILT FREE ‘NO’

“I don't think I’ve ever felt okay saying ‘no’.” Claire told me at the start of our session.

Claire struggled to say ‘no’ to her extended family which meant she was spending her one day off each week with them.

“Whenever someone asks me to do something, I feel obliged to say ‘yes’ just to avoid confrontation.” Claire explained.

It’s clear to me it’s a boundary issue. She’d really benefit from learning how to say a loving ‘no’.

I ask Claire what’s happened in the past when she said ‘no’.

Her face crumbled, “If I say ‘no’ I feel guilty for days. I wake up in the morning feeling sick to my stomach thinking I’m a bad person."

"It seems mean to say ‘no’, it’s not nice. I’m strong enough to get over it, even if it bothers me. I don’t want to hurt their feelings. I’ll just work around what they want."

"My family feeds on this. They’ll guilt trip me until I change my mind and agree to what they want.”

She felt disrespected and dismissed. She didn't want to spend every Sunday with her extended family for the rest of her life.

Using EFT Tapping, a subconscious reprogramming technique, I guided her to release some of the unhealthy conditioning taught to her as a little girl. Specifically clearing the belief that in order to be nice, she had to ignore what SHE wanted and do what OTHERS told her to.

We gave love to the parts of her which were taught to make others around her happy in order to feel worthy of love and earn a place in her family.

She cried those wonderful tears of release as she connected with that little girl who just wanted to play and have fun. She finally got it - love was her birthright and, despite what she was taught, it wasn’t something she had to earn or work for.

She permanently rewrote the story in her subconscious mind of what it meant to be ‘nice’. Released the belief that to be a good person she must do what others want. She wrote a new story where she is kind to herself and honors what she needs!

I guided her with one of my favorite affirmations:

“What’s genuinely best for me, is best for everyone around me.”

She felt excited to experiment with using the magical ‘pause’ phrase, when dealing with pushy family: “Let me think about it and get back to you.”

Claire’s beaming at our next session! She tells me how she stood up for herself and what she wanted. She spoke calmly and told her extended family that they would now meet once a month. She feels genuinely happy to see her extended family once a month.

Her relationship with her partner also improved because there was no more stressing or arguing about the rest of the family.

But most importantly she gets more precious, fun time with her partner and kids.

Claire tells me she’s surprised because things even got better at her work.

“I never knew saying ‘no’ would be such a superpower!”

If you’re ready to stop living your life based on what others want, get clear on what YOU want and learn to speak your Soul’s truth, while unleashing your superpowers, then sign up for my Badass Boundaries and Beyond Program.