I’m Writing A Book In 3 Months
I’m writing a book in 3 months - for those who don’t look at my ‘Instagram Stories’ (no pun intended!).
I intended to write an inner cosmic adventure story “Agent Harmony & the Adventures in Consciousness” but t'was a bit too ambitious for my first book.
So I'm writing a memoir, because I thought it would be easier . Less imagination necessary, I’m passionate about the topic (ME!) & the structure is already there.
On the second call of our program the leader announced something like: “It’s not recommended to write a memoir as your first novel because your ego will trip you up in a hundred different ways. Plus you’ll probably have an existential crisis.”
“Yeh, whatever” thought i. I eat existential crisis with ego trips for breakfast.
Then I started reading through my journals & emails I wrote during that 5 year period.
As one memoirist, Mary Karr, put it “Writing a memoir is like punching yourself with your own fist.”
Generally the past is somewhere I’m very comfortable. I frequently go back into childhood (both mine & my clients) & bring acceptance, love & healing. Memories are not a place I shy away from.
Yet, I’ve never tried taking on a 5 year glob of them at the same time. While simultaneously trying to figure out what’s worth presenting & sharing with others. What’s only interesting to me, versus what’s an epic story which will support the reader in their life?
Reading what I wrote back then & how much I censored myself, reconnecting with how I saw the world & how closed my belief systems were…and generally how miserable I was for most of my 20s, was really shocking. I sobbed frequently remembering how lost, confused & full of doubt I was at that time.
Whispering to my past-self “Keep going. Just one step in front of the other. You’re going to make it. Just one more step. You got this. It’s all worth it. Don’t stop just yet. You can do this. I believe in you. You’re stronger than you imagine.”
And somehow, there’s a future me, beaming back to me as I write this memoir, who’s sass is screeching through a hot pink megaphone
“i didn’t come this far, to only come this far. Keep going, bitch!”
